Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
