if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
