lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
