At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
