I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize