just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
