My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
