Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
