So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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