He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
