You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
