it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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