New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
