did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize