i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
