We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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