dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
