Soap is not a condiment
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
