dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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