did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
