remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
