Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
