I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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