hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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