thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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