Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
