just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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