69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize