youre lurking in front of me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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