no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
