Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
