I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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