its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
