who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
