Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
