I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
