Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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