Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
