I didn't shave. On purpose
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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