bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
