omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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