yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
