so explain again why im purple
no
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This is my gift to your gina
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
