I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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