having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
