you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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