Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
