Your tits are I can't wait for
where does the pee come out of this thing
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
