No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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