dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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