my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
pray to the hookup gods
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
we should paint friendship bongs
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
