i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
