those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
