I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
