You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
