If i come over, it means nothing
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
this will be a night to untag.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
