I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
