I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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