Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
