i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
