Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
