If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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