I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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