i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
