some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
