I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
